Chemo Withdrawal 09/29/14

Hey everyone,

Well my last dosage of Gemcitabine was on the 15th. Usually a week and a half after your last dosage the withdrawal symptoms start kicking in. I have been going through a wave of things. This withdrawal heightens my anxiety and depression symptoms so sometimes I have to take the additional pills they prescribed for me if this ever happened. So besides that being the suck I have had terrible muscle pains in my left shoulder, left shoulder blade, complete neck and both of my collar bones. Because of it I’ve been living on my TENS machine and used damn near all of my Lidocaine patched up. I’ve also experienced shooting pain in my right collar bone (not a good sign) and the feeling of hot pokers in three different spots in my sternum. My migraines have also returned and its been excruciating. Exhaustion has also been extremely common and a pain in my ass. I’m falling asleep in random places in the house. Now with all of this said I still have a few more things going on. I run fevers at night and feel like I have the flu. There has been a little bit of throwing up and acid kicking up out of my stomach despite having a larger dosage of omeprazole to control it. My lungs have also been either really good or a heavy mess. It has caused my sleeping to suck and be pretty sporadic. Thats about it. Amazing, I know!

Soon enough I should be through this stuff though. Last time wasn’t this bad, but I also was on Essiac tea. I’m actually starting it(Essiac Tea) up again this week. I am a full believer in it. I’m also ordering up grounded tea leaves from Sei Mee Tea Company again as well. Their tea is know to be one of the purest forms of green tea and its super easy to use and travel with. I suggest everyone try it.

In other news I had a CT scan to see if there have been any changes in the tumors. I receive the result tomorrow at 10am. SO my anxiety has been pretty freaking crappy this weekend. To keep my mind off of things I watch the Packers, worked on my massive puzzle and was lucky enough to hand my hands work long enough to write a few TTMs to some stud minor leaguers I like to follow.

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Chemobrain 09/17/14

Well the symptoms of my chemobrain seem to be loosening up a bit. The memory part is still absolutely terrible, but the ability to write letters for my TTM collection has been getting better. I’m already putting together a few letters here and there to send out. Physically writing is still a bitch though. I’m just hoping it will also help with my anxiety and memory soon enough though. Its extremely annoying.

If interested I’m sending letters to:
Hardy Nickerson (Buccaneers linebacker legend)
Tim Biakabutuka (Michigan legend)
Chris Weinke (FSU QB and Heisman winner)
Josh Harding (MN Wild goalie and inspiration)
Jason Zucker (MN Wild forward)
Darcy Kuemper (MN Wild goalie)
Troy Drayton (Former St.Louis Rams Tight End)
Stan Humphries (former Chargers QB and one of my favorites)
Wesley Walls (Former Panthers and Packers Tight End)
Anze Kopitar (Goal scoring beast of the LA Kings)

Anxiety ridden

Well I have what is hopefully my last chemotherapy dose until early November in about 7 hours. I am blasting straight through all of my anxiety meds. It is going to be a very long day. Im just so jacked at this being the last one before a break though.

Today was pretty rough all of the way around though. My parents and I went to the Brewers game Saturday night and I get sick from being around all of those germs almost instantly. I seemed to bounce out of it around noon though after some vitamin boosts. Only problem is though I have had massive muscle and body aches. Pain so bad i couldn’t move or walk. My pain meds weren’t doing shit. The TENS machine I use couldn’t loosen anything up. I had it on so high and for so long the battery died. It was a disaster. I have Lidocaine patches on now and they really knocked the pain down. SO there is that.

Feeling good 09/11/14

Just a quick update.

I am doing pretty good this week. A bit more energy. I have had moments where I totally crash, but they have been much fewer in frequency. On Tuesday I went to a concert at The Rave here in Milwaukee. I saw The Offspring and Bad Religion. I went not feeling too hot considering it was the day after getting dosed. I felt OK most of the time but the humidity in the room did get to me a bit. So I sucked on my inhaler a few times. The predisone tablets I got for the inflammation in my lungs seem to be working. I’m not hacking up stuff and that has probably led to me having a bit more energy. At the show I was a sweaty mess though. If you have ever had or dealt with people that have had chemotherapy before you know the nastiness of chemo sweats. Anyways, next week Monday is my last dose of Gemcitabine for a while unless the tumors start to grow again. We gotta get through a CT scan at UW Madison in two weeks first though.

Hey all 09/06/2014

Well plenty of little things to update.
-I am down 4 lbs so hopefully that is the water weigh starting to piss off.
-October 21 and 22nd I have a Mayo clinic appointment in Rochester, MN. Big news I know, but I dont want to get built up for it yet while I still have two more chemo doses to get beat up with.
-I also have an appointment at the University of Minnesota with Keith Skubitz. I have a checkered past with him. Back in 08 he told me there was nothing I can do to win. Its set me off and he wasn’t too happy with me either. So my oncologist and him have talked about it and they both think I should go back so we can talk and go over “outside of the box” ideas that I have always taken instead of the basics. October 23rd is the date for that.
-I will have a chemo break coming up in 2 weeks assuming the CT scans are perfectly fine. I know they will be.
-As for my lungs……..They are still shitty. The choking at night has become a here and there type thing since the last time it occurred. Now I am on predisone to try and let the lungs become uninflammed. They think that I am having issues because of that. Lung inflammation just happens and especially to those in my situation. When the lungs are inflammed you have a larger chance of coughing up tons of mucus. Its like when you get a chest cold. All of that gunk comes out from inflammation of the lung and bronchials.
-It was suggested that I invest in a room air purifier and a dehumidifier. We actually have a dehumidifier that now runs almost 24/7 and my “Uncle” Tom had one from left over from when his mother passed on this past year. I know it kicks ass because she had huge lung issues all of her life. I have ran it for about two days and I can tell a noticable difference already. I’m still coughing, but that is going to happen until the day I die.
-Chemobrain has me all fucked up still too. I can’t remember shit. I barely remember being at the Packers last preseason game and the wedding I attended. It really makes me mad and super frustrated. It will more than likely only get worse as the chemo doses get worse. Pretty shitty and I hope none of you that read this ever have to go through it and its symptoms.

Overall, I am relatively crabby and amazingly drained of all energy. I am just glad I can watch football on the weekends and baseball on the weekdays to occupy my time. I atleast have something in my life to look forward to. Hell, outside of a handful of people who text and email me I wouldn’t even know that I had friends anymore. All part of growing up and having to live with what cancer does. You know destroy everything around you. I’ll be back later to type up random shit.

My lungs suck 09/01/14

Quick complaint. My lungs are terrible. Laying down isn’t an option. Humidity kills me. Basically, I’ve been hacking up gobs of stuff from my lungs and slowly and surely they are opening up a bit. My inhaler doesn’t work for shit. It feels like my chest won’t expand and I cannot inhale normally or deeply. Its rather terrifying. Imagine laying down hacking stuff out of your lungs, not being able to breathe normally with only shallow breaths, not to mention that only the cold makes you feel better. Kind of hard in late summer.