Well I’ve had a few stressful days and I’m okay with that. I think it has been pretty good to finally make a decision about my next few steps. I don’t like to do things without a plan but in reality I become more nervous if everything is easy repetition. The outpouring of love and support from my friends and family has been welcomed. How could it ever not be? Granted its really hard to explain what is going on with my health situation without actually being in my shoes. I get that. I try to be as open and explaining as I can. Lots of websites dedicated to angiosarcoma. The unfortunate part of that is that others have come and gone and failed to lived to tell their continued life story. I’m one of the few. I’m proud of that no doubt, but it doesn’t come without an understanding that I very well might be up shit creek without a paddle right now. I’m grateful for the life I live. I have always been if fair control of things and realistically I am just at my breaking point. To finally be at my breaking point after 12 years, multiple surgeries, 3 near life taking situations, chemobrain and multiple treatments. I’d say I’ll finally accept my moniker of being “tough as nails”. Its still doesn’t help anything now, but its a little kick in the ass. Right now though I am worn out from everything. I need a vacation.
Since I had chemotherapy yesterday and next week is my week off of chemo this is where things get interesting. The day after every chemotherapy sucks. The steroids have me so wired that I don’t sleep until about 8am the morning after getting the dose. Well we scaled back my steroids by 2/3rd. So far so good. No additional symptoms have popped up today. I have the typical feeling of having the flu and being extremely dehydrated. On the other hand my stomach doesn’t annoy me, my complexion isn’t ghost white, and the extreme bloating isn’t there. The steroids were the issue just like I thought they were. We will really know next week when I am in my week off of chemotherapy doses and my body starts to recover and generate healthy cells again. For those that don’t know I am actually sicker that week then when I am on the drugs. I get extreme lower body aches that are pretty debilitating, extreme stomach pains, shit my guts out and develop acid reflux. The drugs they give me to help curb those things don’t work for shit. So I’ve stopped taking them. These things are normal though when ones body starts to regenerate cells in their stomach. Its the first place that they grow again in your body after chemotherapy doses. I also don’t know if people understand how chemotherapy essentially works either so I should probably explain that at some point here. In generic lehmans terms.