Sorry I haven’t updated in a while. My thanksgiving was pretty good. My mom was sick with the flu so she was locked away upstairs away from me and I was in the basement in my room avoiding her most of the day trying not to catch anything. My father and I did have a mans turkey day though. We watched the Packers get destroyed and had turkey and stuffing……that was it. Glorious. No I didn’t go out with the crazies and go shopping on Black Friday. Its a stupid “tradition” if you ask me, but what do I know?
Last week was my week off of chemotherapy and it was absolutely brutal. The entire week I had some sort of head cold. I also was sweating so bad at night that I had to change my clothes and sheets atleast once every night. I also have a massive muscle pain come across my entire left shoulder blade. It hurts so bad. Lidocaine patches and morphine doesn’t help it go away at all. I’m not a happy camper right now. My mother tried to physically rub it out and it hurts so bad when she touched it so I’m hoping it isn’t something worse than a bad charley horse or some shit. I can’t really handle anything else right now.
Mentally, I am doing pretty good. Nervousness and worrying are everyday things now but not too bad and I think that is because of the Effexor I’m on for anti-depression and post traumatic stress syndrome. I did have a quick talk with my mother about my funeral. Sad but we are all gonna die sometime. My burial site is next to my Grandma Schulze which I love. I will also be cremated. I did have a request that everyone who attends my wake or funeral service bring a meaningful photo of myself and them together to be buried with. That and I want a couple of barrels of beer at a bar on tap so everyone can have one on me. Sometimes you just have to plan ahead.
So onto today……I am running a slight fever but my blood counts are in the perfect range still. When you run a fever the doctors do not want to give you the treatments because your body naturally wears down from the cold or whatever it is. The chemotherapy usually really beats your immune system down so you can see why they do not want to give it in most cases. Now with the fact my blood counts are fantastic besides my White blood cells. White blood Cells are the main component in fighting against colds and infections. I unfortunately do not have those white blood cells produced the same way in my body as normal folks do. My spleen was removed because of the cancer I had last time I was sick so the production of white blood cells wears on my body. Either way its a chore for me.
The pain in my shoulder is also an area of concern but oddly enough the doc and I both believe I pulled the muscle really bad. So she wanted me to get an x-ray to make sure I don’t have pneumonia in my lungs and to make sure something else hasn’t developed towards my spine. I told her I would do the x-ray if she allows me to get my chemo treatment. It wasn’t the first time I had been borderline feverish and received treatment so I used that to my advantage. I mean how many people want to be poisoned with chemotherapy? This guy! I’ve got work to do and I’m not waiting around another week for treatment when I want to beat and fight this shit now.