Well my last dosage of Gemcitabine was on the 15th. Usually a week and a half after your last dosage the withdrawal symptoms start kicking in. I have been going through a wave of things. This withdrawal heightens my anxiety and depression symptoms so sometimes I have to take the additional pills they prescribed for me if this ever happened. So besides that being the suck I have had terrible muscle pains in my left shoulder, left shoulder blade, complete neck and both of my collar bones. Because of it I’ve been living on my TENS machine and used damn near all of my Lidocaine patched up. I’ve also experienced shooting pain in my right collar bone (not a good sign) and the feeling of hot pokers in three different spots in my sternum. My migraines have also returned and its been excruciating. Exhaustion has also been extremely common and a pain in my ass. I’m falling asleep in random places in the house. Now with all of this said I still have a few more things going on. I run fevers at night and feel like I have the flu. There has been a little bit of throwing up and acid kicking up out of my stomach despite having a larger dosage of omeprazole to control it. My lungs have also been either really good or a heavy mess. It has caused my sleeping to suck and be pretty sporadic. Thats about it. Amazing, I know!
Soon enough I should be through this stuff though. Last time wasn’t this bad, but I also was on Essiac tea. I’m actually starting it(Essiac Tea) up again this week. I am a full believer in it. I’m also ordering up grounded tea leaves from Sei Mee Tea Company again as well. Their tea is know to be one of the purest forms of green tea and its super easy to use and travel with. I suggest everyone try it.
In other news I had a CT scan to see if there have been any changes in the tumors. I receive the result tomorrow at 10am. SO my anxiety has been pretty freaking crappy this weekend. To keep my mind off of things I watch the Packers, worked on my massive puzzle and was lucky enough to hand my hands work long enough to write a few TTMs to some stud minor leaguers I like to follow.
When I was 18 I went on the German exchange program for a few weeks. At that time my host mother took me to some famous churches and buildings. I never appreciated it as much as I do now. I do remember her taking me to St.Stephens church. The reason this church is notable in my memory is because of the Marc Chagall stained glass windows. Marc Chagall was a painter. A famous one at that. Rather beautiful modern paintings. Now he did do stain glass work for a few churches as well. What is so spectacular about this particular church is that every window is a blue stained glass window. It is amazing to be inside of the building and seeing the blue encompassing the whole room. The windows are beautiful. I as one of non religious deity still appreciate the artistry of these buildings. It is truly one of the few things I can remember with consistency through the chemobrain. I can never thank her enough for that experience, but years sometimes separate everyone.
Well the symptoms of my chemobrain seem to be loosening up a bit. The memory part is still absolutely terrible, but the ability to write letters for my TTM collection has been getting better. I’m already putting together a few letters here and there to send out. Physically writing is still a bitch though. I’m just hoping it will also help with my anxiety and memory soon enough though. Its extremely annoying.
If interested I’m sending letters to:
Hardy Nickerson (Buccaneers linebacker legend)
Tim Biakabutuka (Michigan legend)
Chris Weinke (FSU QB and Heisman winner)
Josh Harding (MN Wild goalie and inspiration)
Jason Zucker (MN Wild forward)
Darcy Kuemper (MN Wild goalie)
Troy Drayton (Former St.Louis Rams Tight End)
Stan Humphries (former Chargers QB and one of my favorites)
Wesley Walls (Former Panthers and Packers Tight End)
Anze Kopitar (Goal scoring beast of the LA Kings)
Well I have what is hopefully my last chemotherapy dose until early November in about 7 hours. I am blasting straight through all of my anxiety meds. It is going to be a very long day. Im just so jacked at this being the last one before a break though.
Today was pretty rough all of the way around though. My parents and I went to the Brewers game Saturday night and I get sick from being around all of those germs almost instantly. I seemed to bounce out of it around noon though after some vitamin boosts. Only problem is though I have had massive muscle and body aches. Pain so bad i couldn’t move or walk. My pain meds weren’t doing shit. The TENS machine I use couldn’t loosen anything up. I had it on so high and for so long the battery died. It was a disaster. I have Lidocaine patches on now and they really knocked the pain down. SO there is that.
Just a quick update.
I am doing pretty good this week. A bit more energy. I have had moments where I totally crash, but they have been much fewer in frequency. On Tuesday I went to a concert at The Rave here in Milwaukee. I saw The Offspring and Bad Religion. I went not feeling too hot considering it was the day after getting dosed. I felt OK most of the time but the humidity in the room did get to me a bit. So I sucked on my inhaler a few times. The predisone tablets I got for the inflammation in my lungs seem to be working. I’m not hacking up stuff and that has probably led to me having a bit more energy. At the show I was a sweaty mess though. If you have ever had or dealt with people that have had chemotherapy before you know the nastiness of chemo sweats. Anyways, next week Monday is my last dose of Gemcitabine for a while unless the tumors start to grow again. We gotta get through a CT scan at UW Madison in two weeks first though.
Rob Deer (Former Milwaukee Brewer)
Jordy Nelson (Kick ass Packer)
Matt Chapman (Oaklands 2014 1st round pick and Beloit Snapper)
Devin Williams (Brewers 2013 2nd round pick)
John Olerud (Blue Jays longtime first baseman)
Tyler Marincov (Beloit Snapper and Oakland 2013 6th rounder)
BJ Boyd (Oakland 2013 3rd rounder and Beloit Snapper)